Health & Fitness

I call Robert at the pharmacy to let him know I’m pretty upset because I panicked when I thought the blood pressure cuff would stop inflating!

I call a gym manager and tell him I’ve got a great new workout that he needs to add to his gym right away. It’s a genius concept: it is based on the snooze button!

I call David and to let him know that his neighbors have bought him a full-body shave because he keeps clogging the drains at the community pool!

Keto (my creepy character) calls a popular juice bar chain to ask if they have “The Juice”… the stuff that gives you the big muscles!

I call a hardware store and ask them to replace my new toilet. I explain that it doesn’t work after just a week of use… a week during which my diet has consisted solely of cheese!

I call 6th-grade teacher Mrs. Perry and ask her to allow me to teach her students about personal hygiene. It all goes well until she figures out I am a HUGE germaphobe and shouldn’t be teaching anything!