I call a gym manager and tell him I’ve got a great new workout that he needs to add to his gym right away. It’s a genius concept: it is based on the snooze button!
I call a hardware store and ask them to replace my new toilet. I explain that it doesn’t work after just a week of use… a week during which my diet has consisted solely of cheese!
I call 6th-grade teacher Mrs. Perry and ask her to allow me to teach her students about personal hygiene. It all goes well until she figures out I am a HUGE germaphobe and shouldn’t be teaching anything!